Who am I?

Mullah Nassiruddin is moments away from his death. He saw his wife all dressed in black with tears filled eyes.

“Go and put up the very best flowery dress. Comb and plait your hair; clean yourself; put the very best make up; and spray lot of perfumes. Then come and sit beside me!”

“This I can’t do, you are about to die!”

“Any moment Master of Death shall be here, he shall find yourself pretty and beautiful, he shall take you instead and spare me.”

…

Nassiruddin is about to board the train. Ticket collector asked for ticket. Nassiruddin started searching. He searched all his pockets even inside the socks where he usually keeps his money. But it was not there!

TC tried to help, “why don’t you look into your Shirt Pocket where usually all keep the ticket?”

“In case I don’t find it there; I have no chance of finding the same ever.”

…

Standing on a queue Nassiruddin was scooping flour from other people’s bag into his own. Mill owner confronted him, “what do you think you are doing?”

“I am a half-wit; I do whatever comes into my head.”

“How come then, you don’t put flour into other people’s bag!”

“I said, I am a half-wit and not a complete idiot.”

…

A barber trimming beard of Emir observed, “Your beard turning to become gray.”

Enraged Emir ordered, “Put him in jail for one year.” He looked at one court attendant and asked, “Do you see any grey in my beard?”

“Almost, none at all.”

“What do you mean? Put him in Jail for two years.”

Emir looked at another and asked, “What color is my beard?”

“It is black without a trace of grey.”

“You bluffer, put him in jail for three years.” Emir now looked at Nassiruddin.

“I am color blind your honor. I won’t be able to tell the color of your beard, Sir.”

…

Mullah Nasruddin has come to India to see and learn from the ancient civilization. Confronted with crowd outside the station, he ran back into railway retiring room; he was afraid that he would get lost. He tied his right leg to his Cot and decided to sleep to drown his fear. A joker saw the same. He untied Mullah’s leg and tied the same in his leg.

“If he is me, then who am I?” Mullah asked when got up. Mullah was totally lost. He ran out and entered the first shop near the station. Seeing him entering the shop an attendant came forward.

“Did you see me coming in?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see me before?

“No.”

“How did you know that it is me?”

Unable to find himself, Mullah tried hard to get into a bus thinking someone would recognize him. It took him many attempts, at long last he entered and crawled near a seat and sat on the lap of some one.

“Am I in the bus?” Mullah asked.

“Get off! You are sitting on me!”

“Have I sat on you before?”

“No.”

“How do you know then that I am sitting on you?”